You Didn't Hear This From Me: (Mostly) True Notes on Gossip

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of sexual harassment, gender discrimination, and racism.

Throughout the book, McKinney explores the dual nature of gossip as both constructive and destructive, arguing that gossip is not inherently good or bad but rather contextual because its form is shaped by intention, audience, and power dynamics. Using a range of cultural case studies and personal experiences, McKinney proves that gossip can build community and protect the vulnerable, but she also takes care to acknowledge the potential for gossip to shame, alienate, and harm its targets.

One example of gossip’s destructive potential appears in Chapter 6, as McKinney recounts the viral case of “West Elm Caleb,” a man whose reputation was attacked by a cacophony of online voices. After several women shared stories about Caleb ghosting them after romantic encounters, many internet users swiftly escalated the situation, exposing his full name and workplace and making him the target of widespread condemnation. While the original gossip may have come from a place of genuine frustration, the collective online reaction transformed a private dating misstep into a public spectacle, and the resulting turmoil showed that when gossip is amplified through digital platforms, it can quickly become punitive.